That Kid
by Brookii
Summary: Toby's secret letter to Spencer. Please read! :    Reviews much appreciated too!


**That Kid  
><strong>_Toby's Secret Letter to Spencer_

Everyone knew I was weird. Of course I was, right? I was Toby Cavanaugh.

In First Grade, I was that kid who sat alone of his first day of school, eating Ham and Cheese sandwiches. I remember when I first saw Alison DiLaurentis. I was eating my sandwich when she walked past. She looked down at the sandwich and smirked. "Are you really going to eat? Shouldn't you try not to gain weight? I hear the spaceship has a limit to how much their aliens can weigh."  
>I made an enemy of Alison there and then. It's one of my greatest regrets. "You'd know all about aliens, wouldn't you, Alison?"<br>She looked down at me… down _on _me… and scoffed. As if I was something slimy she scraped off her rich-girl black lace-ups.

In Second Grade, I was that kid who had his chair pulled out from underneath him when he tried to sit down to take the math test. "Good luck with the test, loser," Alison DiLaurentis sneered.  
>"Alison," a girl whispered. "Cool it."<br>It was you, Spencer. You were standing up against Alison and the two of you hadn't even created the Perfect Princess Club yet.  
>"Are you going to make me, Nerd?"<br>You stayed quiet.  
>"Yeah, that's what I thought," she smirked, and walked off to her desk.<p>

In Third Grade, I was that kid who was suspended from school for getting into a fight with Noel Kahn. When I think about it, it was a stupid idea to fight Kahn. Also… we were in third grade; I doubt it was much of a showdown anyway. He started it, as childish as it sounds to bring that up.  
>I remember sitting in the office with a bleeding nose. You came in. Not for me, of course – for your teacher, Miss Lincoln.<br>"Miss Lincoln wanted 30 photocopies of this sheet."  
>"Thanks, darling. Would you be a darling for me and stick your head in to sick bay? Tell Toby his Dad will be 'round to pick him up in ten minutes, OK, darl'?"<br>"Sure."  
>You came in.<br>"The office told me to tell you that your Dad will –"  
>"I know. I can hear just fine."<br>"Alright." You tilted your head, a little anxiously when you saw my bleeding nose.  
>"I tripped down the stairs," I say quickly.<br>"Of course," you answered. I know you didn't believe me because you'd been there, watching the fight progress like everyone else.  
>But you didn't ask questions, Spencer. You just accepted it.<p>

In Fourth Grade, I was that kid who threw a chair at our teacher. It was her fault. She got me mad. She was talking to me about how life must be rough at home, now that my Mum had left. I told her to shut up and stop talking but she went on about counselling sessions and therapy and I screamed at her to shut up. She ignored me, and that made me more furious. "SHUT UP!" I kept screaming. "SHUT UP!" I screamed, and then I stood up, moving away from my chair and then I angrily threw it at her. She shut up then. She held her eye in her hands. I felt like a monster. I could have stayed and faced the music. Of course I didn't. I walked out.  
>You were there.<br>"Toby, you can't just leave!"  
>"Watch me," I muttered. I didn't want to disobey you, of course I didn't. Even then I was in love with you. But I was so tired of everything.<p>

In Fifth Grade, I was that kid who got slapped in the classroom by Alison. "Move away from my desk, loser," she spat.  
>"Mrs Murray said I had to sit next to you. I can't help it."<br>"You can so fricking help it. Move your scuffy pencil case and your ratty book off my fricking desk right now, Cavanaugh, or I swear, I will…"  
>"I'm not moving, Alison. I was told to sit –"<br>Alison slapped me across the face.  
>"You little <em>toerag<em>," she hissed menacingly.

In Sixth Grade, I was that kid who secretly shared a kiss with you behind the school. We vowed to forget about it because I was Toby Cavanaugh; that freak. That kid who sat alone as he ate his ham and cheese sandwich with solitude for company in first grade. You tasted like Raspberry Cream Chapstick and strawberry bubble-gum and beauty.

In reality, I'm that kid who had sex with his stepsister and that kid who was accused of murdering your best friend. I didn't. I wouldn't. It would hurt you. And I wouldn't hurt you.

Because I love you.

_Toby Cavanaugh,  
>Also known as that kid who's madly in love with Spencer Hastings.<em>


End file.
